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Monday, October 1, 2007

Miss Madison has had this cough for several weeks now. I really didn't think it was anything but her allergies causing it. I KNOW that I didn't want to have to take her to the doctor's office because she has a phobia of scrubs and white coats and even more so of needles. I mean a serious, irrational fear. There is no talking to her and trying to reason with her about it. Anyways, this morning she was coughing quite a bit and my sister, the veterinary nurse, informs me that it sounds bronchial. Lovely. Doctor, here we come.

So I make the appointment for 2:oo p.m. I dread it all day, she dreads it all day. Works herself up pretty nicely if I do say so myself. We get there and she's okay and I'm shocked. She gets weighed, lets the Doc check her out completely with no problem. (It was just allergies) I'm double checking to make sure this is my kid still sitting there. Just as we're about to leave Doc notices she hasn't had a physical this year. (Duh, the kid's terrified of this place usually and we try to avoid it at all costs.) He decides she needs one before she leaves. She's okay with that....until....the nurse walks in to prick her finger. With that she promptly loses her ever loving mind. Tries to squeeze between the wall and the chair that I am sitting in. The nurse and I have to drag her out. I then get the fabulous honor of holding her left arm down and I have to throw my leg around her legs to try to control her. (Have you ever tried to control a wildebeest? I believe it would be a similar experience. You might want to try it sometime.) The nurse manages to prick her finger and then Madison announces, "that was it, that was nothing." Oh my Lord.

The nurse comes back in a few minutes later and says, "I really hate to tell you this, but Maddy needs two immunizations." Someone just shoot me now please. It then takes myself and two nurses to restrain the child that used to be my daughter and has now metamorphosised into a screaming, thrashing freak. I'm holding her arms down, one nurse is holding her legs and the other begins. First they even sprayed a numbing solution on her arms so she wouldn't feel the shot. The two shots took about 20 seconds to give and then it was over. Hallelujah! As I am apologizing to the poor nurses, they apparently thought it was time to tell me she would need a second round of the Hepatitis A shot in 6 months. So not funny.

Michael will be seriously taking a day of in April.


Trish said...

Now I can laugh my head off without
Miss Tude getting mad at me!
I must say it brings back memories of you my sweet daughter, but you
didn't hide behind chairs, I did get kicked out by good ol' Dr.
Trevis though!!

Anonymous said...

OMG Kell I feel for you and for Madison, but that is absolutely hilarious!!

Louise said...

Your experience with Madison is SO like one of our grand-girls. She is 10 and can hold her own against anyone in white. Wouldn't it be something if these two grow up to be doctors???

EmmaJ said...

I am so sorry... but thank you for sharing! That was the funniest thing I have read in ages! I remember my sister once, at age 3, realizing where my mom was taking her, so she threw down her bike (with training wheels) and started to run down the block. I had to chase her down and then help hold her as she got a couple shots! Great story Kelly, thanks so much for typing it all out!