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Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Panic

If you know me well enough then you know that I am prone to panic attacks and anxiety. I have been on meds for it numerous times. When I found out I was pregnant I quit taking the meds because I didn't want to hurt the baby. I have managed (for the most part) to keep myself fairly calm. Until this week.

I am in a constant state of anxiety. I am completely freaked out by my blood pressure. I think that I checked it at least 20 times yesterday. Yes, even with the blood pressure meds, my blood pressure is still high. It fluctuates between 140/80 to 160/100. Not good. Makes me panic. Which makes the blood pressure go higher. I'm terrified that I am going to have a stroke, even though with pre-eclampsia if you are going to have a stroke it usually happens within the first 48 hours after delivery. If I have a stroke who is going to take care of my precious babies. The thought comsumes me and I cry quite a bit.

I'm really having a rough time holding it all together. I know that part of it has to do with hormones and sleep deprivation. I'm trying my best to trust in God. While I know that everything is in his hands, I'm just having a hard time finding peace.

5 comments:

Pat said...

I understand your anxiety and the difficult time you are having to find peace - so for that reason, all of us who love you so much will keep claiming it on your behalf till you feel it surround you and fill you up with perfect rest. We will intercede and call on the name of Jesus and peace will come.
We love you.

Louise said...

Dear God, calm and give comfort and time to rest to Kelly. Quiet her fears with your peace. Let her know she has nothing to fear. Rebuke the enemy over her thoughts and her blood pressure for Your name's sake and Your glory. She loves You Lord and is depending on You. Meet each need in ways she cannot fathom.
Amen

Louise said...

Dear Kelly, I suffered with mild panic attacks when I was younger .. I was so afraid of everything it seemed. You're not in this alone, we're with you and praying for you.

Trish said...

Kelly Joyce... God has not given us the spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind!
We have quoted that verse since you
were a girl, don't let go of it!
I will always take care of you and you NEVER have to worry about the babies... Daddy and I are here!

Mama2CnC said...

Kelly, I'm so thankful the Lord led you to share. I'll be praying for you my friend. May our Lord bring you the peace only He can give & that He has promised to us, HIS children.