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Monday, January 26, 2009

OK, here's one. When my kids ask for something (you know, any present...toys, pretty much anything they see on tv, etc.), I do not tell them "Sure! Just put it on your birthday/Christmas list!" even if it is something I would never ever get, just to avoid pouting. They are not completely appeased, and even a little thrilled by what a cool mom I am, and by the time the actual holiday rolls around, they have not forgotten about 90% of the crap they wanted. It's not awesome!

I did not race home and do my taxes and have them e-filed four hours after getting my w-2's, having decided that Uncle Sam could now pay me so I could pay everyone else. I did not do the happy dance when I saw that I got an extra deduction for Elek courtesy of the stimulus incentive that was issued last year.

I was not tortured for more than a week while my almost 12-year-old daughter was grounded from all electronic devices. She did not spend the entire time moping around the house, staring at me, whining to me, & making me feel more like I was the one being punished by this grounding. She is too sweet to ever act like that! Thank goodness, huh? Otherwise, I may have felt ten more gray hairs pop out this week!!! And we all know I'm waaaaay too young to have any gray hairs.

I didn't just drop a knife almost hitting and cutting my foot.

I do not hate Mondays. They are the greatest day of the week.

I do not watch The View because I enjoy seeing women bicker.

I am not watching The Maury Povich show right now and so I am not learning about who the baby daddy is of this woman who has already tested over 8 men but she is SURE that THIS one is the father because there is nobody else it could possibly be. And it does not make me feel quite a bit better about leading my simple little life. (Yes, I know that I shouldn't be watching this trash...I was flipping channels.

"A Hard Knock Life" from Annie was not running through my head as I swept and scrubbed the kitchen floor. I did NOT dance at all, because that would just be cheesy.


Trish said...

You had better turn off that trashy Maury Povich show! No child of mine would watch that junk!!!

Lynette said...

LOL! You are too funny! You made an obvious choice not to have a Blue Monday!