OK, here's one. When my kids ask for something (you know, any present...toys, pretty much anything they see on tv, etc.), I do not tell them "Sure! Just put it on your birthday/Christmas list!" even if it is something I would never ever get, just to avoid pouting. They are not completely appeased, and even a little thrilled by what a cool mom I am, and by the time the actual holiday rolls around, they have not forgotten about 90% of the crap they wanted. It's not awesome!

I did not race home and do my taxes and have them e-filed four hours after getting my w-2's, having decided that Uncle Sam could now pay me so I could pay everyone else. I did not do the happy dance when I saw that I got an extra deduction for Elek courtesy of the stimulus incentive that was issued last year.

I was not tortured for more than a week while my almost 12-year-old daughter was grounded from all electronic devices. She did not spend the entire time moping around the house, staring at me, whining to me, & making me feel more like I was the one being punished by this grounding. She is too sweet to ever act like that! Thank goodness, huh? Otherwise, I may have felt ten more gray hairs pop out this week!!! And we all know I'm waaaaay too young to have any gray hairs.

I didn't just drop a knife almost hitting and cutting my foot.

I do not hate Mondays. They are the greatest day of the week.

I do not watch The View because I enjoy seeing women bicker.

I am not watching The Maury Povich show right now and so I am not learning about who the baby daddy is of this woman who has already tested over 8 men but she is SURE that THIS one is the father because there is nobody else it could possibly be. And it does not make me feel quite a bit better about leading my simple little life. (Yes, I know that I shouldn't be watching this trash...I was flipping channels.

"A Hard Knock Life" from Annie was not running through my head as I swept and scrubbed the kitchen floor. I did NOT dance at all, because that would just be cheesy.